” All bled out, from sitting here trying to figure it all out. Steming up is all of this doubt, but I still try to figure it out.
A battle within my body, things are always so tense, I’m always left in suspense. What the hell is left here that makes sense?
I’m trying to figure it out.
Lately I’m swarmed with a colorful spectrum of emotions to compliment this black-and-white soul, I’m slowly breaking down like a fraction when I’m trying to keep myself a whole.
Breaking my back to be the soldier and savior for everyone else, with a ripped cape and a low amount of ammo to even protect and be there for myself.
Blotches wearing and layers tearing away from this skin that I’m living in, from years of my patience wearing thin.
It’s a product of a mindset that reality slowly painted black and red.
Nothing but this blood gang of stress just chilling in my head. It’s pouring out to the rest of the body. Internally it spreads.
The blood is flowing down my face region, black blood oozing out of my right eye, looking back on all of the tears that I’ve cried, always starting from that eye and never understanding why, Everything I see just feels like an illusion or a lie.
A scar shows over the other one. It’s making it harder to see the good, heavier to keep open, losing my focus. My view is colder and it feels frozen.
My mouth is closed since I just can’t seem to find the words. Scars along my neck, cutting off my speaking supply. Making it hard to convey the emotions eating away my insides …
There’s a tiger and its roaring inside of my good heart.
It’s strong, staying humble, running along.
Then it hits me with a stinging scratch, pushing me to become unattached, from myself, too much pride to cry out to others for any help. I’m falling apart.
Deeper the emotions bleed
At a lightning speed.
I’m turning into a leopard now,
my weak spots are starting to change,
In an unstable kind of range.
Things hardly ever stay sane.
A little green hue in my stomach with the envy of certain situations and circumstances, my guts wrenching from unworthies given too many fair chances.
Feeling like the elephant in the room,
the quietest voice with loudest aura
with an attitude full of gloom.
This mammal turns blue as I grow older.
Letdowns causing a chip on my shoulder.
I’m made of porcelain, making it easy for me to be broken. But the crazy glue called art in my life holds me together tight and has always been that saving token.
Then, the blood stops at my soul.
No longer flowing.
Why? I’m not really knowing.
A grasshopper inside of me starts to chirp.
Each antenna movement is slowly removing the feeling of hurt.
The voice of reason in the body of a man speaks its kind and encouraging words to me, and regardless of sensing all of this hurt in me, it sees the worth in me.
I close my eyes as the lighter moments of life start to project. These are the feelings that I shut out and make easy to forget.
The pessimistic mindset hindering the level of love within myself and magnifying the defeat.
What about the growth in me? The blessings?
Completely blinded by the stressing.
The respect? washed out from regret.
How do I fix it all and tear down this wall?
I’m still trying to figure it out.
I look in the mirror, wiping away the smoke
The view make me feel choked. Facing my entire body, my stomach getting knotty.
Who am I? What have I become? How has this creation come about? My emotions got the best of me and now I’m standing here, all bled out.
I wanna clean up this mess, relieve my stress and just be blessed, But for the first time in a long time. I don’t know what’s coming or what to do next …
All bled out, from sitting here trying to figure it all out. Having to fight this doubt, but I still go on.
Trying to figure it out.”