Today marks a very important and rough day for me. On August 2nd, 1997, life changed completely for me and my family. I lost my two younger brothers to the effects of hypothermia. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about my brothers, however there’s two days where the emotions are at a high, their birthday and this date. I contemplated on if I even wanted to make a blog post about this, but because this date means so much to me, I thought it would be great to really elaborate on and talk about. I was around 6 when this happened so it’s hard to explain what I felt in that moment, but the main thing I felt was guilt. I always wonder what life would be like if they were still here. I’d daydream about the person I might have been, or how they would’ve turned out. Even what our circumstances would be like. It sucks because they were just babies and I feel like they didn’t get a chance to really live their lives. Their personalities were out of this world though. I remember a lot of the moments that we’ve shared together. I am so glad to still remember those after all of this time because I have something to remind me of how happy they’ve made me feel. Even if we were kids at the time. In the spirit of my brothers, Andre & Anton, I’ve created a watercolor design to not only pay homage to them, but to really create a gift for myself. Sure, I have lot of pictures and things like that, but I really wanted to do something myself and really grieve through something that truly means a lot to me, which is my art. I’ve debated for a while on putting this up for the world to see because I didn’t want any of my family members stealing the picture and propping it everywhere like it’s theirs. It always hits a nerve for me because this isn’t just anyone, these are my brothers. This means a lot to me so I take it seriously. On the other hand, I really wanted to tell the story of this design, my most meaningful one out of all I’ve done. I thought it would be amazing to share, especially on my blog, and maybe someone can even relate to it. The main goal for me is to really tell my story and show people how much my artwork plays a part in my personal life. For the design, I used one of my favorite pictures of the boys. Also, I used their favorite colors: Blue and Green. That was a big deal for me…

Uhm, I’m sorry. I’m having a little trouble finishing this post because of how heavy this design makes my heart, but I’m really glad and actually a little excited to showcase it. Thank you Andre and Anton for being a part of my life, for teaching me so many things. You’ve helped me learn to laugh as much as I can, to have fun, and to not repeat mom’s phone conversations. Lol (*coughs Anton) I miss the both of you very much and wish you two were still here. However, I don’t question fate or God’s plan. I know he needs the both of you much more than I do. Continue to watch over the family and you’d better be singing those tutu choir songs up there in heaven. I swear nothing could shut the two of you up with those. Lol if nothing else, I love the both of you. Very much. I’ll always do my best to make the both of you proud of your sister.

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